Dear Agent,
Death is said to ride a pale horse, but Etienne de Villaine, an angelic assassin, prefers more modern modes of transportation. When the presidents of Israel, Iran, and Turkmenistan are assassinated by a sniper, he and his angelic wife Nel are sent to stop the killer and avert a war. They’re a step too late to save the Ukrainian president, but catch a glimpse of the assassin who looks vaguely familiar to Etienne. The son of the North Korean President is murdered next, raising global tensions to the verge of world war. While setting a trap baited with the Russian president, Etienne realizes the assassin is his fallen brother Munk. Nel and Etienne manage to stop the next assassination, but Nel is injured and Munk escapes.
The angelic couple returns to their Chicago home, Nel to recover and Etienne to check on his restaurant where he discovers Munk has followed them. During a lunchtime showdown, Munk vows to kill Etienne and then start Armageddon, but nothing prepares Etienne for Munk’s confession to the murder of his two previous wives. As if that isn’t enough for Etienne to pursue him to a death duel, Munk drives a nail into the coffin of motivation by murdering the manager of Etienne’s restaurant and kidnapping her fourteen year old son. Etienne must head off a world war and rescue the boy, but stopping his brother may cost one of them their souls.
I am seeking representation for my 91,000 word supernatural thriller, ASSASSIN’S REDEMPTION. ***short bio*** Thank you for your time.
Sincerely yours,
Jan 31, 2011
Jan 29, 2011
Query -Drego's Sword (second revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Dear (Agent)
War is tearing apart the countries of Cyrah. Power-hungry Gordar has killed the previous king and has ascended to the throne. Using a kidnapped seer and a ruthless assassin, Gordar is bent on finding the three gems hidden throughout the land. A single gem holds an infinite amount of magic. Whoever possesses all three will have power unlimited.
But the first of the gems has already fallen into the hands of seventeen-year-old Drego, a talented young warrior from a small coastal village. He sets out to find the last two gems and defeat Gordar, a journey that will take him throughout Cyrah, into the arms of a headstrong young woman, and to a darker, more violent part of himself he hadn’t known existed.
Drego's Sword is an epic medieval fantasy that is 95, 000 words in length. It is the first book in a young adult series.
-brief bio and such-
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Ashley
Click here to read the first revision.
Dear (Agent)
War is tearing apart the countries of Cyrah. Power-hungry Gordar has killed the previous king and has ascended to the throne. Using a kidnapped seer and a ruthless assassin, Gordar is bent on finding the three gems hidden throughout the land. A single gem holds an infinite amount of magic. Whoever possesses all three will have power unlimited.
But the first of the gems has already fallen into the hands of seventeen-year-old Drego, a talented young warrior from a small coastal village. He sets out to find the last two gems and defeat Gordar, a journey that will take him throughout Cyrah, into the arms of a headstrong young woman, and to a darker, more violent part of himself he hadn’t known existed.
Drego's Sword is an epic medieval fantasy that is 95, 000 words in length. It is the first book in a young adult series.
-brief bio and such-
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Ashley
Jan 28, 2011
QUERY- PIKE PLACE
Dear Agent-Name,
I am sending this query to you because you said in an interview with GLA you are interested in thrillers.
PIKE PLACE is a 78,000-word thriller with an original female protagonist, Rachel McAlister, a former Army MP awarded the Silver Star in Afghanistan.
Rachel saved Joshua Todaro’s life on the battlefield and he gave her the bullet in gratitude. In response, she gave him her heart and they plan to be married. But her life is thrown upside down when Joshua is murdered in his Pike Place apartment, and then Rachel is framed for the murder.
Things go from bad to worse when she learns that her best friend is the prime witness for the prosecution. Anyone else would give up. Not Rachel. Now, as she goes to trial, she holds on to the only two things in the world that she can trust: her love for Joshua, and the battlefield bullet he gave her. She has to hope that somehow, someway, she can figure out who set her up before it’s too late.
A short story of mine has been published in The Sand Hill Review at Stanford. I am a member of the SF/Peninsula branch of the California Writers Club. The Bulletin of the Club has included several of my articles. I was a finalist in the novel contest at the East of Eden writers conference. I am a founding member of the West Valley Writers Group.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I would be happy to send you the manuscript immediately.
I am sending this query to you because you said in an interview with GLA you are interested in thrillers.
PIKE PLACE is a 78,000-word thriller with an original female protagonist, Rachel McAlister, a former Army MP awarded the Silver Star in Afghanistan.
Rachel saved Joshua Todaro’s life on the battlefield and he gave her the bullet in gratitude. In response, she gave him her heart and they plan to be married. But her life is thrown upside down when Joshua is murdered in his Pike Place apartment, and then Rachel is framed for the murder.
Things go from bad to worse when she learns that her best friend is the prime witness for the prosecution. Anyone else would give up. Not Rachel. Now, as she goes to trial, she holds on to the only two things in the world that she can trust: her love for Joshua, and the battlefield bullet he gave her. She has to hope that somehow, someway, she can figure out who set her up before it’s too late.
A short story of mine has been published in The Sand Hill Review at Stanford. I am a member of the SF/Peninsula branch of the California Writers Club. The Bulletin of the Club has included several of my articles. I was a finalist in the novel contest at the East of Eden writers conference. I am a founding member of the West Valley Writers Group.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I would be happy to send you the manuscript immediately.
Jan 27, 2011
QUERY- LOVE DRUG
Dear X,
In the distant future, a bad boy can wreak more havoc on a good girl’s life than he ever could before.
Everything’s gone wrong for Avalea Christopher. Her Soul Mate is an imposter, her parents are ready to ship her off to shadowy authority figures, never to return, and Upper Cocaigne, the city of her birth, might be keeping its citizens on a steady diet of mind control drugs.
Avalea grew up as one of Upper Cocaigne’s sparkling jewels, the pretty girls who speak well but know little. Still, she’s armed with an unorthodox amount of curiosity and willpower—and decides she’d rather take her life into her own hands than be shuffled off into the unknown. She fakes her death and escapes to Lower Cocaigne, Upper Cocaigne’s dog-eat-dog sister city.
There she’s taken in by Felis Quinn, Crew leader and Soul Mate Imposter Extraordinaire. Despite the part he played in the destruction of her life, Avalea can’t escape lingering feelings for Felis. And though she struggles to fit in with his Crew, she finds her new freedom intoxicating—too intoxicating to give up. Only it turns out she might have to: Upper Cocaigne has put a price on her head and the most powerful Crew in Lower Cocaigne has kidnapped the children of Felis’ Crew for a chance at it. Avalea knows she can save them—if she’s willing to surrender herself, and the life she never knew she needed.
LOVE DRUG is a 98,000 word YA science fiction novel, set a thousand years into Earth’s future.
Thank you very much for your time.
Sincerely,
In the distant future, a bad boy can wreak more havoc on a good girl’s life than he ever could before.
Everything’s gone wrong for Avalea Christopher. Her Soul Mate is an imposter, her parents are ready to ship her off to shadowy authority figures, never to return, and Upper Cocaigne, the city of her birth, might be keeping its citizens on a steady diet of mind control drugs.
Avalea grew up as one of Upper Cocaigne’s sparkling jewels, the pretty girls who speak well but know little. Still, she’s armed with an unorthodox amount of curiosity and willpower—and decides she’d rather take her life into her own hands than be shuffled off into the unknown. She fakes her death and escapes to Lower Cocaigne, Upper Cocaigne’s dog-eat-dog sister city.
There she’s taken in by Felis Quinn, Crew leader and Soul Mate Imposter Extraordinaire. Despite the part he played in the destruction of her life, Avalea can’t escape lingering feelings for Felis. And though she struggles to fit in with his Crew, she finds her new freedom intoxicating—too intoxicating to give up. Only it turns out she might have to: Upper Cocaigne has put a price on her head and the most powerful Crew in Lower Cocaigne has kidnapped the children of Felis’ Crew for a chance at it. Avalea knows she can save them—if she’s willing to surrender herself, and the life she never knew she needed.
LOVE DRUG is a 98,000 word YA science fiction novel, set a thousand years into Earth’s future.
Thank you very much for your time.
Sincerely,
Jan 26, 2011
Query - Drego's Sword (revised)
Click here to read the original query.
Dear (agent)
How much is too violent? Drego begins to confront this question and his own mixture of brutality and playfulness as he fights when he’s thrust into a quest he had never expected: to gather the three magic gems throughout his home and use them to stop dictator Gordar and his deadly assassin, Skulta.
It begins the night of Drego’s fifteenth birthday when he finds a single gem on the coast. A woman named Laurina visits him, telling him of his destiny and that he needs to leave home to gain experience. Storing the gem in his sword’s hilt, and thus infusing his sword with magic, he does as she says. For two years, he gains experience as a warrior.
But then Gordar kills the previous king and ascends to the throne, making war on other countries and sending Skulta after the remaining two gems. Drego finds one, but the other Skulta obtains, forcing Drego to head for Gordar’s castle and a likely trap.
Drego's Sword is a medieval fantasy that is 95, 000 words in length. It is the first book in a young adult series.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Ashley
Dear (agent)
How much is too violent? Drego begins to confront this question and his own mixture of brutality and playfulness as he fights when he’s thrust into a quest he had never expected: to gather the three magic gems throughout his home and use them to stop dictator Gordar and his deadly assassin, Skulta.
It begins the night of Drego’s fifteenth birthday when he finds a single gem on the coast. A woman named Laurina visits him, telling him of his destiny and that he needs to leave home to gain experience. Storing the gem in his sword’s hilt, and thus infusing his sword with magic, he does as she says. For two years, he gains experience as a warrior.
But then Gordar kills the previous king and ascends to the throne, making war on other countries and sending Skulta after the remaining two gems. Drego finds one, but the other Skulta obtains, forcing Drego to head for Gordar’s castle and a likely trap.
Drego's Sword is a medieval fantasy that is 95, 000 words in length. It is the first book in a young adult series.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Ashley
Query - Drego's Sword
Dear (agent)
How much is too violent? When is it justified? Drego finds himself beginning to confront these questions when he is thrust into a quest he had never expected: to gather the three magic gems throughout his home of Faires and to use them to stop dictator Gordar and his deadly assassin, Skulta.
It begins the night of Drego’s fifteenth birthday when he finds a single gem on the coast. A woman named Laurina visits him that night, telling him that he’s meant to rebalance good and evil and that he needed to leave home to gain experience. Storing the gem in his sword’s hilt, and thus infusing his sword with magic, Drego does as she says. For two years he gains experience as a warrior.
But then Gordar kills the previous king and ascends to the throne, making war on other countries and sending Skulta after the remaining two gems. Drego befriends opinionated Toey, optimistic Tak, and Allendra who has a wanderlust, as they set out to get the other two gems. The first they find in the catacombs, the other near the peak of a volcano. However, Skulta gets the last one first, forcing them to head for Gordar’s castle and a likely trap.
On the way, Allendra is trained how to fight and she and Drego’s friendship began to deepen into something more. Tak is sold as a slave into the gold mines. After his rescue, they hear word of an army heading to Gordar’s castle to take it.
They join, and Drego sneaks alone into the castle, kills Gordar and Skulta, and retrieves the final gem. Drego is in awe at his own skill in the art of battle, and questions his mixture of brutality and playfulness when he fights. All three gems in his sword hilt give him tremendous power. Laurina congratulates him, but warns him that there is more serious evil that he will soon have to face.
Drego's Sword is a medieval fantasy that is 94, 499 words in length. It is the first book in a series. Although the content in this first installment is not too harsh, this is a young adult series.
(brief bio)
Thank you for your time and consideration.
How much is too violent? When is it justified? Drego finds himself beginning to confront these questions when he is thrust into a quest he had never expected: to gather the three magic gems throughout his home of Faires and to use them to stop dictator Gordar and his deadly assassin, Skulta.
It begins the night of Drego’s fifteenth birthday when he finds a single gem on the coast. A woman named Laurina visits him that night, telling him that he’s meant to rebalance good and evil and that he needed to leave home to gain experience. Storing the gem in his sword’s hilt, and thus infusing his sword with magic, Drego does as she says. For two years he gains experience as a warrior.
But then Gordar kills the previous king and ascends to the throne, making war on other countries and sending Skulta after the remaining two gems. Drego befriends opinionated Toey, optimistic Tak, and Allendra who has a wanderlust, as they set out to get the other two gems. The first they find in the catacombs, the other near the peak of a volcano. However, Skulta gets the last one first, forcing them to head for Gordar’s castle and a likely trap.
On the way, Allendra is trained how to fight and she and Drego’s friendship began to deepen into something more. Tak is sold as a slave into the gold mines. After his rescue, they hear word of an army heading to Gordar’s castle to take it.
They join, and Drego sneaks alone into the castle, kills Gordar and Skulta, and retrieves the final gem. Drego is in awe at his own skill in the art of battle, and questions his mixture of brutality and playfulness when he fights. All three gems in his sword hilt give him tremendous power. Laurina congratulates him, but warns him that there is more serious evil that he will soon have to face.
Drego's Sword is a medieval fantasy that is 94, 499 words in length. It is the first book in a series. Although the content in this first installment is not too harsh, this is a young adult series.
(brief bio)
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Jan 24, 2011
QUERY: Nephilim Wars: The Formation of the Human Alliance (First Revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Thanks for all the input! I focused much more on the characters and their actions this time.
Dear [Agent],
The enemy that created him has cursed the powerful wizard, Master Tigon, with long life. This power has allowed him to watch civilizations rise and fall. Now it’s humanities turn.
Determined not to let this happen he travels to Atala, an ancient castle and home to the mighty Centaurs. There he finds Deminar, warrior prince and last hope of the world. Together the old wizard, the hero prince of Atala, and two Royal guards embark on a journey through an ancient portal to a foreign land. They travel to present day Earth.
After going above and beyond the call of duty to rescue the president, Captain Nolan Fields of the US Marine Corps is given a new company to command, Alpha Company First Recon Division, the best of the best. This company of Marines will join the knights on their journey and will be the first envoys to a new world. They will be part of the Earth’s First Contact with an alien civilization.
But, First Contact is a disaster. The team of marines is ambushed, some of them captured. Now Captain Fields and Prince Deminar must battle against two technologically advanced races; the unstoppable horde of the space-dwelling Nephilim and the Nano-machine powered Neila. But to save this planet these two soldiers from different worlds must unite humanity, for if they fail Earth will be next.
Nephilim Wars: The Formation of the Human Alliance is a complete Science Fiction / Epic Fantasy Novel at 140,000 words, with a complete blend of swords, sorcery, castle sieges, space battles, and modern warfare. This is my first attempt at publication.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Thanks for all the input! I focused much more on the characters and their actions this time.
Dear [Agent],
The enemy that created him has cursed the powerful wizard, Master Tigon, with long life. This power has allowed him to watch civilizations rise and fall. Now it’s humanities turn.
Determined not to let this happen he travels to Atala, an ancient castle and home to the mighty Centaurs. There he finds Deminar, warrior prince and last hope of the world. Together the old wizard, the hero prince of Atala, and two Royal guards embark on a journey through an ancient portal to a foreign land. They travel to present day Earth.
After going above and beyond the call of duty to rescue the president, Captain Nolan Fields of the US Marine Corps is given a new company to command, Alpha Company First Recon Division, the best of the best. This company of Marines will join the knights on their journey and will be the first envoys to a new world. They will be part of the Earth’s First Contact with an alien civilization.
But, First Contact is a disaster. The team of marines is ambushed, some of them captured. Now Captain Fields and Prince Deminar must battle against two technologically advanced races; the unstoppable horde of the space-dwelling Nephilim and the Nano-machine powered Neila. But to save this planet these two soldiers from different worlds must unite humanity, for if they fail Earth will be next.
Nephilim Wars: The Formation of the Human Alliance is a complete Science Fiction / Epic Fantasy Novel at 140,000 words, with a complete blend of swords, sorcery, castle sieges, space battles, and modern warfare. This is my first attempt at publication.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
QUERY: Nephilim Wars: The Formation of the Human Alliance
Dear [Agent],
An ancient Wizard has a vision, of war and death. A titanic clash between Centaur Steel and Nephilim shield swords. High above the planet space ships clash, the wounded and dead falling back to the surface in flames. But there is more to this war than the knights of Aztlan and the gray Nephilim aliens. The shape shifting monsters of Neila attack the flanks of the armies, while soldiers and tanks bearing the flags of our world lead the charge. Under the heels of these four armies run crimson rivers of blood and the tears of survival.
Now the wizard must unite two human worlds together to stand against a powerful alien foe.
The world's only hope of survival are the seven Pantheons of Light and Destruction, ancient temples long forgotten in the sands of time. United together they hold unlimited power, but the Nephilim have a head start, all that stands between them and victory is a US Marine Captain and a Warrior Prince.
Humanity faces destruction. Out gunned and out manned its fate seems sealed, but humanity has one advantage. It excels at war.
Nephilim Wars: The Formation of the Human Alliance is a complete Science Fiction / Epic Fantasy Novel at 140,000 words, with a complete blend of swords, sorcery, castle sieges, space battles, and modern warfare. This is my first attempt at publication.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
An ancient Wizard has a vision, of war and death. A titanic clash between Centaur Steel and Nephilim shield swords. High above the planet space ships clash, the wounded and dead falling back to the surface in flames. But there is more to this war than the knights of Aztlan and the gray Nephilim aliens. The shape shifting monsters of Neila attack the flanks of the armies, while soldiers and tanks bearing the flags of our world lead the charge. Under the heels of these four armies run crimson rivers of blood and the tears of survival.
Now the wizard must unite two human worlds together to stand against a powerful alien foe.
The world's only hope of survival are the seven Pantheons of Light and Destruction, ancient temples long forgotten in the sands of time. United together they hold unlimited power, but the Nephilim have a head start, all that stands between them and victory is a US Marine Captain and a Warrior Prince.
Humanity faces destruction. Out gunned and out manned its fate seems sealed, but humanity has one advantage. It excels at war.
Nephilim Wars: The Formation of the Human Alliance is a complete Science Fiction / Epic Fantasy Novel at 140,000 words, with a complete blend of swords, sorcery, castle sieges, space battles, and modern warfare. This is my first attempt at publication.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Jan 19, 2011
QUERY-SUPERNATURAL (FIRST REVISION)
Click here to read the original query.
Abbie Liddell loves research, hates shrinks, and should be able to communicate with the dead.
Abbie has a psychic gift. But it’s buried within a repressed memory. Sure, she’s moved to the Queen Anne Institute of Parapsychology to uncover it. It’s just safer not to. Plus, why worry about her own past when she could be snooping through the Institute’s? Especially when it looks like the Institute is covering up another recruit’s murder. But as she’s looking into them, she finds they’re watching her. And they’re not the only ones.
Ballard is sexy and dangerous and Abbie wants nothing to do with him. But he’s been watching Abbie her whole life. Watching her in visions of the future. And her future looks worse than her past.
The Institute is desperate to contact a spirit. Desperate enough to perform a procedure on Abbie in three days to crack open her gift. They don’t care if it leaves her dead.
Remembering the two weeks her mind banished from her psyche in order to protect itself sixteen years ago may leave her wanting to die. But not remembering will kill her.
SUPERNATURAL is an adult paranormal suspense. It is complete at 125,000 words.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Abbie Liddell loves research, hates shrinks, and should be able to communicate with the dead.
Abbie has a psychic gift. But it’s buried within a repressed memory. Sure, she’s moved to the Queen Anne Institute of Parapsychology to uncover it. It’s just safer not to. Plus, why worry about her own past when she could be snooping through the Institute’s? Especially when it looks like the Institute is covering up another recruit’s murder. But as she’s looking into them, she finds they’re watching her. And they’re not the only ones.
Ballard is sexy and dangerous and Abbie wants nothing to do with him. But he’s been watching Abbie her whole life. Watching her in visions of the future. And her future looks worse than her past.
The Institute is desperate to contact a spirit. Desperate enough to perform a procedure on Abbie in three days to crack open her gift. They don’t care if it leaves her dead.
Remembering the two weeks her mind banished from her psyche in order to protect itself sixteen years ago may leave her wanting to die. But not remembering will kill her.
SUPERNATURAL is an adult paranormal suspense. It is complete at 125,000 words.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Jan 18, 2011
QUERY-SUPERNATURAL
Abbie Liddell takes two pills two times a day. She takes two in the morning to numb the fear. She takes two at night to sleep. She swallows them in secret.
The parapsychology institute where she lives forbids prescription medications. Prescriptions only repress psychic gifts, and the Institute doesn’t dabble in the ordinary.
Abbie should be trying to uncover her gift to communicate with the dead. But it’s just safer not to. Her ability is buried within a repressed memory of the two weeks she went missing when she was eight. And the mind buries these things for a reason. The institute’s other recruits should know.
One recruit’s gift surfaced because of an event that broke her so bad she tried to drown herself in the Mississippi river. When another recruit’s gift surfaced, he realized taking another person’s life, good or bad, changes someone. Takes something away from your soul or puts something else in. The other recruits haven’t been the same since.
But the Institute is desperate for Abbie to contact a spirit. So desperate they will perform a procedure on her in three days to crack open her gift. They don’t care if it leaves her dead.
Remembering the two weeks her mind banished from her psyche in order to protect itself sixteen years ago may leave her wanting to die. But not remembering may kill her.
SUPERNATURAL is a paranormal suspense. It is complete at 125,000 words.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
The parapsychology institute where she lives forbids prescription medications. Prescriptions only repress psychic gifts, and the Institute doesn’t dabble in the ordinary.
Abbie should be trying to uncover her gift to communicate with the dead. But it’s just safer not to. Her ability is buried within a repressed memory of the two weeks she went missing when she was eight. And the mind buries these things for a reason. The institute’s other recruits should know.
One recruit’s gift surfaced because of an event that broke her so bad she tried to drown herself in the Mississippi river. When another recruit’s gift surfaced, he realized taking another person’s life, good or bad, changes someone. Takes something away from your soul or puts something else in. The other recruits haven’t been the same since.
But the Institute is desperate for Abbie to contact a spirit. So desperate they will perform a procedure on her in three days to crack open her gift. They don’t care if it leaves her dead.
Remembering the two weeks her mind banished from her psyche in order to protect itself sixteen years ago may leave her wanting to die. But not remembering may kill her.
SUPERNATURAL is a paranormal suspense. It is complete at 125,000 words.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Jan 17, 2011
Query- Second Hand News
Dear Agent:
They both needed a way to start over again and get it right this time.
Twenty years have passed since Gail first saw Tony Cimino behind the counter of his father's pizza shop. The first time was a chance encounter she is certain he would not remember. She doesn't know yet that he is her second chance at happiness and tries to push him out of her life. But Tony, a man who knows what he wants and sees it in Gail, is not going to give up so easily.
Second Hand News is about family, the invisible older sister, the vain, status conscience mother and "pretty" younger sister; a story of fun, friendships and final vindication, woven with the antics of a feisty, hilarious Bubbie; the mortar between the bricks. Add Gail's supporting characters; the young Dominican girl who befriends her, the gun-toting ex-vet who helps her, her out of bounds girlfriends, hot dates and two people falling in love.
Chaos rules, as Bubbie escapes from assisted living, moves into her granddaughter's small apartment, and entertains the neighbors singing Ethel Merman tunes late at night in the elevator. Gail fends off dates arranged by her mother and sister, squashes a Yuppie co-op conversion, and uses her wit and talent to find a new career.
Second Hand News, complete at 80,000 words, romantic women's fiction, explores how two people find a better way to live.
I found your name (Insert pertinent agent information) I would be happy to send part or all of the completed manuscript. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Respectfully,
===================================
CHAPTER ONE
Three of us sat on a cold, wooden bench in the judge's chamber and waited. It was a long day and seven others had already finished and been escorted to the next room to sign papers and get a receipt, pending the official document.
When it was my turn, I stood to answer three questions: 1) Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, 2) Do you Gail Goldblum Silverstein wish to contest this action, and 3) Do you wish to return to your maiden name?
Nothing came out of my mouth and the girl next to me pulled the edge of my jacket and snapped, "Say something, and let's get the hell out of here."
I gulped, answered each question, and it was done.
We were alone in the room with the judge and his bailiff, who pointed, "This way, miss."
I was officially an ex-wife.
They both needed a way to start over again and get it right this time.
Twenty years have passed since Gail first saw Tony Cimino behind the counter of his father's pizza shop. The first time was a chance encounter she is certain he would not remember. She doesn't know yet that he is her second chance at happiness and tries to push him out of her life. But Tony, a man who knows what he wants and sees it in Gail, is not going to give up so easily.
Second Hand News is about family, the invisible older sister, the vain, status conscience mother and "pretty" younger sister; a story of fun, friendships and final vindication, woven with the antics of a feisty, hilarious Bubbie; the mortar between the bricks. Add Gail's supporting characters; the young Dominican girl who befriends her, the gun-toting ex-vet who helps her, her out of bounds girlfriends, hot dates and two people falling in love.
Chaos rules, as Bubbie escapes from assisted living, moves into her granddaughter's small apartment, and entertains the neighbors singing Ethel Merman tunes late at night in the elevator. Gail fends off dates arranged by her mother and sister, squashes a Yuppie co-op conversion, and uses her wit and talent to find a new career.
Second Hand News, complete at 80,000 words, romantic women's fiction, explores how two people find a better way to live.
I found your name (Insert pertinent agent information) I would be happy to send part or all of the completed manuscript. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Respectfully,
===================================
CHAPTER ONE
Three of us sat on a cold, wooden bench in the judge's chamber and waited. It was a long day and seven others had already finished and been escorted to the next room to sign papers and get a receipt, pending the official document.
When it was my turn, I stood to answer three questions: 1) Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, 2) Do you Gail Goldblum Silverstein wish to contest this action, and 3) Do you wish to return to your maiden name?
Nothing came out of my mouth and the girl next to me pulled the edge of my jacket and snapped, "Say something, and let's get the hell out of here."
I gulped, answered each question, and it was done.
We were alone in the room with the judge and his bailiff, who pointed, "This way, miss."
I was officially an ex-wife.
Jan 14, 2011
Query, Sacred Fire
Tuccia trembles at her trial as she waits to be executed for a crime she did not commit: losing her virginity. For other Roman women, this would not be an offense, but for a priestess of Vesta, such a sin could displease the gods and condemn Rome to ruin.
Tuccia’s accuser is an angry priest who failed to seduce her. With a priest’s testimony against her, no one will believe Tuccia is innocent. There’s only one person who can save her life: the goddess Vesta. If Vesta will allow Tuccia to perform a miracle, it will prove that she’s favored of the gods.
Tuccia has distrusted Vesta ever since a Vestal Virgin was wrongly accused and executed for the same crime. She must depend on Vesta now, because if she doesn’t save her, Tuccia has no hope of surviving.
Sacred Fire is a historical fiction of 88,000 words. It is based on a true story.
Tuccia’s accuser is an angry priest who failed to seduce her. With a priest’s testimony against her, no one will believe Tuccia is innocent. There’s only one person who can save her life: the goddess Vesta. If Vesta will allow Tuccia to perform a miracle, it will prove that she’s favored of the gods.
Tuccia has distrusted Vesta ever since a Vestal Virgin was wrongly accused and executed for the same crime. She must depend on Vesta now, because if she doesn’t save her, Tuccia has no hope of surviving.
Sacred Fire is a historical fiction of 88,000 words. It is based on a true story.
Query: Nepenthe (third revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Kate is twenty-three years old, has just started up her own café, and is addicted to adrenaline. Michael, a ghost, teaches her to convert the fear that people naturally feel in his presence, and turn it into an adrenaline rush. It’s a harmless thrill, until the ghost wants her dead.
Michael has been wandering the earth alone since he died in the 1800’s, looking for distractions to help him forget painful memories of his life. If Kate becomes a ghost and stays with him, he promises to teach her how to forget the traumatic event in her past that has been driving her need for adrenaline fixes. Memory loss and walking through walls aren’t enough to entice Kate to die.
When Kate asks Michael to leave, his volatile emotions hurl objects and break glass. When Michael finds Kate and her boyfriend on a date at the fair, the entire hall of mirrors shatters.
Michael begins to haunt Kate exclusively by forming a ghost bind to her, hoping that his constant adrenaline giving presence with convince Kate that she needs him. She is unable to escape Michael, which puts her boyfriend in Michael's reach if her boyfriend gets too close. Kate’s boyfriend isn’t willing to give up on her.
Kate’s life isn’t the only one she has to fight for.
NEPENTHE is a paranormal romance of 101,000 words.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Kate is twenty-three years old, has just started up her own café, and is addicted to adrenaline. Michael, a ghost, teaches her to convert the fear that people naturally feel in his presence, and turn it into an adrenaline rush. It’s a harmless thrill, until the ghost wants her dead.
Michael has been wandering the earth alone since he died in the 1800’s, looking for distractions to help him forget painful memories of his life. If Kate becomes a ghost and stays with him, he promises to teach her how to forget the traumatic event in her past that has been driving her need for adrenaline fixes. Memory loss and walking through walls aren’t enough to entice Kate to die.
When Kate asks Michael to leave, his volatile emotions hurl objects and break glass. When Michael finds Kate and her boyfriend on a date at the fair, the entire hall of mirrors shatters.
Michael begins to haunt Kate exclusively by forming a ghost bind to her, hoping that his constant adrenaline giving presence with convince Kate that she needs him. She is unable to escape Michael, which puts her boyfriend in Michael's reach if her boyfriend gets too close. Kate’s boyfriend isn’t willing to give up on her.
Kate’s life isn’t the only one she has to fight for.
NEPENTHE is a paranormal romance of 101,000 words.
Jan 13, 2011
QUERY- WALKING OFF PLUTO (First Revision)
Click here to read the original query.
WALKING OFF PLUTO examines the impact of grief on the lives of two sisters and the wayward young man who helps them to realize that everyone grieves, just in different ways. Some people cry and openly express their feelings, but for others, it feels like a journey across the universe just to begin the process. If you start to grieve, will you ever stop grieving?
Seventeen-year-old Lynn refuses to grieve for her dying father. She doesn't want to end up like her older sister, Chloe, sucked in an endless black hole of tears, broken dishes, pills, and unfinished sentences. Instead, Lynn becomes obsessed with outer space, especially Pluto, an outcast in the solar system. Feeling out of orbit with her dysfunctional family, she spends most of her time alone with her telescope, trying to find the impossible-to-find rejected planet.
Chloe attempts to crack through Lynn's self-created shell by destroying Lynn's telescope and freedom to leave the house after dark but ends up pushing Lynn into further isolation. Lynn becomes practically inhuman, not even reacting to a slap across the face, until she befriends Peter.
Peter is an actor pretending to be sick. Or a cancer patient. Or he has an eating disorder. Bottom line, he's not well physically, but mentally he's off the chart. He speaks his mind, yet lies constantly, and thinks Pluto will always be a planet at heart. Lynn initially uses him as a distraction away from her family and for sex, but Peter views their encounters as the beginnings of a relationship. When Peter opens up about his own experiences with loss, Lynn realizes that if she doesn't face her father's death and grieve for him, she'll never be able to love anyone.
My young adult novel is complete at 50,000 words. Thank you for your time and consideration.
WALKING OFF PLUTO examines the impact of grief on the lives of two sisters and the wayward young man who helps them to realize that everyone grieves, just in different ways. Some people cry and openly express their feelings, but for others, it feels like a journey across the universe just to begin the process. If you start to grieve, will you ever stop grieving?
Seventeen-year-old Lynn refuses to grieve for her dying father. She doesn't want to end up like her older sister, Chloe, sucked in an endless black hole of tears, broken dishes, pills, and unfinished sentences. Instead, Lynn becomes obsessed with outer space, especially Pluto, an outcast in the solar system. Feeling out of orbit with her dysfunctional family, she spends most of her time alone with her telescope, trying to find the impossible-to-find rejected planet.
Chloe attempts to crack through Lynn's self-created shell by destroying Lynn's telescope and freedom to leave the house after dark but ends up pushing Lynn into further isolation. Lynn becomes practically inhuman, not even reacting to a slap across the face, until she befriends Peter.
Peter is an actor pretending to be sick. Or a cancer patient. Or he has an eating disorder. Bottom line, he's not well physically, but mentally he's off the chart. He speaks his mind, yet lies constantly, and thinks Pluto will always be a planet at heart. Lynn initially uses him as a distraction away from her family and for sex, but Peter views their encounters as the beginnings of a relationship. When Peter opens up about his own experiences with loss, Lynn realizes that if she doesn't face her father's death and grieve for him, she'll never be able to love anyone.
My young adult novel is complete at 50,000 words. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Jan 10, 2011
Query - The Discovery of Lumina (revised, formerly The Paw Shake Portal)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Dear (Agent):
In the month of March, eleven-year-old Alex Locklin makes three significant discoveries. First, he learns that his family is moving in June. Then he realizes he’s growing apart from his two best friends. But his greatest discovery is a secret: the stray cat in his back yard and the new girl in his neighborhood are the same being.
Lumina reveals her half-cat, half-human identity to Alex in hopes that he can help her. She is a member of the royal cat family, and they are being threatened by an enemy army of cats called Alley Scratch. In order to gain the strength and endurance she needs to fight them, Lumina has to form a “bond of trust” with a human. The more their friendship grows, the stronger she will become.
Alex eagerly volunteers to form this bond, and as a result, he’s swept into the affairs of the far away Animal World. He helps Lumina investigate her sister’s suspicious boyfriend and attempts to make peace with aggressive animals. But the clock is ticking. Moving day is imminent, and so are Alley Scratch’s attacks on Lumina’s family. Although Lumina is energized by the bond, Alex refuses to stand idle. He will stop at nothing to protect his new friends… even if their days together are numbered.
THE DISCOVERY OF LUMINA is a middle grade novel complete at 30,000 words. (Reason for querying specific agent here.)
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
(Author's note: I posted previous queries for the same book under its old title, The Paw Shake Portal. I realized that my last query didn't accurately reflect the most important points of my book, so this is a new angle on the same story. Any suggestions are appreciated!)
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Dear (Agent):
In the month of March, eleven-year-old Alex Locklin makes three significant discoveries. First, he learns that his family is moving in June. Then he realizes he’s growing apart from his two best friends. But his greatest discovery is a secret: the stray cat in his back yard and the new girl in his neighborhood are the same being.
Lumina reveals her half-cat, half-human identity to Alex in hopes that he can help her. She is a member of the royal cat family, and they are being threatened by an enemy army of cats called Alley Scratch. In order to gain the strength and endurance she needs to fight them, Lumina has to form a “bond of trust” with a human. The more their friendship grows, the stronger she will become.
Alex eagerly volunteers to form this bond, and as a result, he’s swept into the affairs of the far away Animal World. He helps Lumina investigate her sister’s suspicious boyfriend and attempts to make peace with aggressive animals. But the clock is ticking. Moving day is imminent, and so are Alley Scratch’s attacks on Lumina’s family. Although Lumina is energized by the bond, Alex refuses to stand idle. He will stop at nothing to protect his new friends… even if their days together are numbered.
THE DISCOVERY OF LUMINA is a middle grade novel complete at 30,000 words. (Reason for querying specific agent here.)
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
(Author's note: I posted previous queries for the same book under its old title, The Paw Shake Portal. I realized that my last query didn't accurately reflect the most important points of my book, so this is a new angle on the same story. Any suggestions are appreciated!)
Jan 8, 2011
QUERY - ORDO ABCHAO
Dear [Agent Name],
This is year zero, the year of the invasion. Blood-thirsty aliens roam the streets of every megacity during the day, while at night backstabbing thugs known as vultures hunt, kill and scavenge the houses of the remaining survivors. The armies of the world are powerless. The end of mankind is near.
Robert "Bobby" Mensah has two weeks of food supplies left. Most of his neighbors are either dead or dying, killed or about to be killed by either angels, vultures, the army, starvation or worse. Every night on GNN, Jude Delphi and the panel discuss the daily death tolls, but Bobby's no hero, Bobby only cares about his survival.
When Bobby decides to trade for food with a local vulture, the resulting gunfight leaves him with two dead bodies in his front yard and a bag full of food supplies. But when his neighbor Julie steals the bag, she leaves him with no food, with nowhere to go, and with a gang of trigger-happy vultures hellbent on killing him. Kill or be killed, Bobby will need to kill to survive, and Bobby will need to decide how far he is willing to go to stay alive.
ORDO ABCHAO is a post-apocalyptic science fiction novel complete at 58,000 words, the first of a five book series of First Person Shooter Punk (FPS-Punk). I'm the father of FPS-Punk, a convergence between video gaming and literature, and I also maintain a blog on video gaming.
Best,
Gareth Mensah.
This is year zero, the year of the invasion. Blood-thirsty aliens roam the streets of every megacity during the day, while at night backstabbing thugs known as vultures hunt, kill and scavenge the houses of the remaining survivors. The armies of the world are powerless. The end of mankind is near.
Robert "Bobby" Mensah has two weeks of food supplies left. Most of his neighbors are either dead or dying, killed or about to be killed by either angels, vultures, the army, starvation or worse. Every night on GNN, Jude Delphi and the panel discuss the daily death tolls, but Bobby's no hero, Bobby only cares about his survival.
When Bobby decides to trade for food with a local vulture, the resulting gunfight leaves him with two dead bodies in his front yard and a bag full of food supplies. But when his neighbor Julie steals the bag, she leaves him with no food, with nowhere to go, and with a gang of trigger-happy vultures hellbent on killing him. Kill or be killed, Bobby will need to kill to survive, and Bobby will need to decide how far he is willing to go to stay alive.
ORDO ABCHAO is a post-apocalyptic science fiction novel complete at 58,000 words, the first of a five book series of First Person Shooter Punk (FPS-Punk). I'm the father of FPS-Punk, a convergence between video gaming and literature, and I also maintain a blog on video gaming.
Best,
Gareth Mensah.
Jan 6, 2011
Query: Nepenthe (Second Revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
After her fiancé dies in a car accident she feels is her fault, Kate wants to forget it happened. Kate meets Michael, a ghost, who is drawn to her by similar feelings of regret. The fear based adrenaline high Kate gets from Michael is an addicting escape. Michael promises to teach Kate how to forget her past permanently if she will become a ghost with him. Memory loss and walking through walls aren’t enough to entice Kate to die.
When Kate asks Michael to leave, his volatile emotions hurl objects and break glass. When Michael walks in on Kate during a date with her new boyfriend at the county fair, the entire fun house hall of mirrors shatters.
Determined not to lose Kate, Michael gives up wandering the earth freely to haunt Kate exclusively by forming a ghost bind to her. Kate must keep her now constant, ghost companion away from her boyfriend since Michael has vowed to kill him. Yeah, Kate is really won over by Michael now.
Kate discovers that if she can rid herself of the regret that drew Michael to her, she will be able to banish him. But Kate can’t let go of her guilt. And, despite Kate’s precautions, Michael just found a way to get at her boyfriend.
Nepenthe is a paranormal romance of 112,500 words
Click here to read the first revision.
After her fiancé dies in a car accident she feels is her fault, Kate wants to forget it happened. Kate meets Michael, a ghost, who is drawn to her by similar feelings of regret. The fear based adrenaline high Kate gets from Michael is an addicting escape. Michael promises to teach Kate how to forget her past permanently if she will become a ghost with him. Memory loss and walking through walls aren’t enough to entice Kate to die.
When Kate asks Michael to leave, his volatile emotions hurl objects and break glass. When Michael walks in on Kate during a date with her new boyfriend at the county fair, the entire fun house hall of mirrors shatters.
Determined not to lose Kate, Michael gives up wandering the earth freely to haunt Kate exclusively by forming a ghost bind to her. Kate must keep her now constant, ghost companion away from her boyfriend since Michael has vowed to kill him. Yeah, Kate is really won over by Michael now.
Kate discovers that if she can rid herself of the regret that drew Michael to her, she will be able to banish him. But Kate can’t let go of her guilt. And, despite Kate’s precautions, Michael just found a way to get at her boyfriend.
Nepenthe is a paranormal romance of 112,500 words
Jan 4, 2011
Query: Nepenthe (First Revision)
Click here to read the original query.
To distract her from guilt, Kate turns her fear of a ghost into an adrenaline rush. That is, until the ghost wants her to become one too.
After her fiancé dies in a car accident she feels is her fault, Kate meets Michael, a ghost who is drawn to her by similar feelings of regret. She not only learns to get a high from his presence, but gets to experience what it’s like to be a ghost when Michael pulls her soul out of her body while she sleeps. Kate knows Michael is lonely, but has no idea what he’ll do to keep her with him.
When Kate becomes accustomed to the adrenaline and her high wanes, Michael asks her to die and choose to become a ghost with him. If she does, Michael promises to teach her how to forget her past permanently. Memory loss and walking through walls aren’t enough to entice Kate to die. She asks Michael to leave. Determined not to lose her, Michael gives up being earthbound and binds to Kate so he haunts her specifically. She is unable to escape Michael’s volatile emotions, which can hurl objects and break glass. Yeah, Kate is really won over now.
Mostly she is worried about keeping those close to her safe from Michael’s presence. When Kate’s relationship with her mountain biking partner, Ethan, moves past platonic, Michael vows to remove him permanently. Kate’s life is no longer the only one she has to fight for.
NEPENTHE is a paranormal romance of 112,500 words. The manuscript is complete, and can be sent to you right away.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
To distract her from guilt, Kate turns her fear of a ghost into an adrenaline rush. That is, until the ghost wants her to become one too.
After her fiancé dies in a car accident she feels is her fault, Kate meets Michael, a ghost who is drawn to her by similar feelings of regret. She not only learns to get a high from his presence, but gets to experience what it’s like to be a ghost when Michael pulls her soul out of her body while she sleeps. Kate knows Michael is lonely, but has no idea what he’ll do to keep her with him.
When Kate becomes accustomed to the adrenaline and her high wanes, Michael asks her to die and choose to become a ghost with him. If she does, Michael promises to teach her how to forget her past permanently. Memory loss and walking through walls aren’t enough to entice Kate to die. She asks Michael to leave. Determined not to lose her, Michael gives up being earthbound and binds to Kate so he haunts her specifically. She is unable to escape Michael’s volatile emotions, which can hurl objects and break glass. Yeah, Kate is really won over now.
Mostly she is worried about keeping those close to her safe from Michael’s presence. When Kate’s relationship with her mountain biking partner, Ethan, moves past platonic, Michael vows to remove him permanently. Kate’s life is no longer the only one she has to fight for.
NEPENTHE is a paranormal romance of 112,500 words. The manuscript is complete, and can be sent to you right away.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Jan 3, 2011
Query: Nepenthe
Dear__________,
Kate finds that turning her fear of a ghost into an adrenaline rush is a great distraction from unresolved, past issues. That is, until the ghost almost kills her.
Michael, a particularly powerful ghost, wants Kate to die and choose to stay as a ghost with him. He pulls her soul out of her body while she sleeps so she can experience what it’s like. Kate seriously considers becoming one permanently, but there are reasons to live.
One of those reasons is Ethan, who is quickly becoming more than a friend. Michael will do anything to get rid of Ethan, and Kate is kicking herself for being too bent on an adrenaline high to consider the town psychic when she warned her about Michael’s true identity. Kate’s life is no longer the only one she has to fight for.
Set in the small mountain town of Waterton, Alberta, NEPENTHE is a paranormal romance of 112,500 words. It is my first novel. The manuscript is complete, has undergone a manuscript evaluation and copy edit, and can be sent to you right away.
Thank you for your consideration,
Kate finds that turning her fear of a ghost into an adrenaline rush is a great distraction from unresolved, past issues. That is, until the ghost almost kills her.
Michael, a particularly powerful ghost, wants Kate to die and choose to stay as a ghost with him. He pulls her soul out of her body while she sleeps so she can experience what it’s like. Kate seriously considers becoming one permanently, but there are reasons to live.
One of those reasons is Ethan, who is quickly becoming more than a friend. Michael will do anything to get rid of Ethan, and Kate is kicking herself for being too bent on an adrenaline high to consider the town psychic when she warned her about Michael’s true identity. Kate’s life is no longer the only one she has to fight for.
Set in the small mountain town of Waterton, Alberta, NEPENTHE is a paranormal romance of 112,500 words. It is my first novel. The manuscript is complete, has undergone a manuscript evaluation and copy edit, and can be sent to you right away.
Thank you for your consideration,
Jan 2, 2011
QUERY- WALKING OFF PLUTO
Dear __________,
Pluto is no longer a planet. Lynn’s father is dying. She cannot grieve for him. She hates him too much. Pluto is an outcast in the solar system. Lynn is an outcast in her family. She feels out of orbit when she is around them. She cannot tolerate their tears, screams, broken dishes, pills, and unfinished sentences. She’d rather be alone. And then she meets Peter.
WALKING OFF PLUTO examines the impact of grief on the lives of two sisters and a wayward young man who helps them to realize that everyone grieves, just in different ways. Seventeen-year-old Lynn burrows herself in the comfort of the sky while her older sister, Chloe, seeks to crack through Lynn’s self-created shell. But the only thing that can break through Lynn is Lynn. And it will feel like a journey across the universe to figure that out.
My young adult novel is complete at 50,000 words. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Little excerpt:
Lynn gazes through her black and white telescope and sees what she wants to see. A gush of wind flings black hair over her forehead, blocking her view of the starry winter night. She brushes the strands back with her fingers, careful not to touch the scope. She has it positioned and zoomed exactly the way she wants it.
Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. Someone is walking up the hill—the dying leaves crumble under knee-high boots. She should be startled, but it’s only her sister, Chloe.
Pluto is no longer a planet. Lynn’s father is dying. She cannot grieve for him. She hates him too much. Pluto is an outcast in the solar system. Lynn is an outcast in her family. She feels out of orbit when she is around them. She cannot tolerate their tears, screams, broken dishes, pills, and unfinished sentences. She’d rather be alone. And then she meets Peter.
WALKING OFF PLUTO examines the impact of grief on the lives of two sisters and a wayward young man who helps them to realize that everyone grieves, just in different ways. Seventeen-year-old Lynn burrows herself in the comfort of the sky while her older sister, Chloe, seeks to crack through Lynn’s self-created shell. But the only thing that can break through Lynn is Lynn. And it will feel like a journey across the universe to figure that out.
My young adult novel is complete at 50,000 words. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Little excerpt:
Lynn gazes through her black and white telescope and sees what she wants to see. A gush of wind flings black hair over her forehead, blocking her view of the starry winter night. She brushes the strands back with her fingers, careful not to touch the scope. She has it positioned and zoomed exactly the way she wants it.
Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. Someone is walking up the hill—the dying leaves crumble under knee-high boots. She should be startled, but it’s only her sister, Chloe.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)